A long distance relationship may be fine between relatives and friends, but when it comes to love it becomes a very challenging situation. Didn’t they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it only kills the heart. The long-distance relationship may have its problems but it has a “heat” that couples in short-distance relationships can only dream of. Every second together is
treasured, every shared meal is valued and every kiss is full of passion, to last for weeks, months or even years…-ROSELINE NYA
To believe in the loyalty of an incorporeal voice, to be, and remain in love with someone who is absent as though they were present, is to be a true romantic. It is to live for the future. It is to have faith, that the impossible is possible and the improbable, probable. It is to be hopeful that the deprivations will eventually birth something eternally fulfilling. Until then, you wait, and wait patiently. You sit on the edge of the bed that was meant for two and watch the second of the clock tick away lazily. You call your friends and pretend to be engrossed in the conversation, but all the while your mind is wanting, desiring, thirsting for a certain someone, who is far away. Maybe a little more work, will do the trick, you tell yourself. So you volunteer more at the office and take home some assignments. You re-arrange the sitting room’s furniture and redo the rooms. You encumber yourself with much burden to numb the raging seas of burning emotions inside, yet the pains of an overworked body pales in comparison to the hunger for a soul mate who is far away.
You wish. You turn off the light and fantasise about you two on a lonely beach. You curse or fight him for choosing his job, or whatever it is that took him out of town, over you. And every time the phone rings, your heart leaps.
The world will show you pictures- pictures that will deflate your hope and open the door to a stranger. But the touch of a stranger is like prickly heat. And before you fall, you grind to a halt. Your friends will call you naïve and say that a relationship can only work if the two individuals are in it day by day; experiencing the good and the bad together.
Though with careful navigation, some have succeeded. The following factors are what you need to make yours a success.
Positivity
An invaluable component of a secure relationship is an optimistic attitude toward your partner and the future. This is often re-enforced by each partner’s own resilience; acceptance of the situation, belief in self, belief in partner, spirituality, creativity, problem solving, and sense of humour.
Assurances
Affirmations of commitment and support are crucial when partners are separated by distance.
Openness
Disclosure of feelings, concerns and confidences with your partner only happens when you trust your partner and believe he/she accepts you. Being confidantes to each other is a mutual compliment. The feeling and reminder that talking to the partner is different from talking to anyone else strengthens relationships, whether it is being done in person, on the phone, in a letter or email.
Sharing Tasks
Even miles and countries apart, partners can partner. An important consideration is partnering on positive plans as well as problem-solving tasks. Planning or even fantasising together about the next vacation or the short weekend coming up is crucial – It keeps desire and hope in the forefront.
Sharing Social Networks
Whether together or at a distance, sharing social networks is a crucial source of mutuality for couples. Talking and updating about friends and social connections is a viable way to feel connected at a distance.
Intimacy
Technical advances- emails, cell phones, text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Skype offer resources and connection for love on the run, love on the phone and many new ways for lovers at a distance to maintain their intimacy. Part of the power of a back and forth text message is the brevity, insider code, and intimate suggestion of “for your eyes only”.
Culled from Genevieve magazine
No comments:
Post a Comment