BUS TALES as Narrated by JOYOUSAYO

Boarding Lagos bus from Ibadan can be hilarious to say the least. I boarded a bus just this past week from Ibadan and see me see trouble! It all began with a choking pervasive air-freshner used by an Ibadan babe in the bus. The air-freshner cum perfume was just too much for my little nose to take. I keep eyeing the little tribal-marked babe chewing gum beside me like she don’t care.

Soon we were joined by an avalanche of three heavily endowed lousy Ibadan market women with six kids, I mean six children ranging from ages three to six. The loads they were carrying is so small it can be compared to the whole of “gbagi” market. I had no option but to

help the women by carrying on of their ward beside me in the middle of the bus. If you have boarded bus with market women you will understand my plight but the situation was made worst because Ibadan women are especially known for never having a dull moment especially with their mouth(s).

Few minutes into the journey, one of the bus tyre busted and the driver and the conductor had to rally round fixing the extra tyre even as rain threatened with rumbling from above laced with thick cumulous cloud. After about fifteen minutes the tyre was fixed and we continued our journey. Before long the overburdened cloud could not hold it no more, the rain began in earnest and the visibility reduced from poor to none existent due to non-functioning wipers. The IB women started shouting in such a way the driver had to park for some minutes to pacify the agitated passengers, after what seem like eternity but in actual sense it was just thirty minutes the rain reduced to barest minimum and we continue the journey again.
I was royally pissed especially after being delayed for almost an hour but the driver will have none of it as he continues with his snail speed. A little after the redemption camp, one of the IB women complained loudly that she needed to pee. The driver complained that there is no way he can stop until we get to Lagos. On getting to Ojodu Berger when one of the passenger alighted, the woman still complained again asking the driver to park for her to ease herself but the driver complained again about the many uniformed law enforcement officer loitering looking for who to arrest.

Boom, the woman used a PET bottle to do her thing there and then at the back seat and my church mind will not allow me to even contemplate looking back. Wow I am still dazed to how the woman could do it in such a tight corner at the back seat. Can’t even imagine think how she managed to dispose it. Ayam still wondering…

Narrated by Ayobami Dada @joyousayo on twitter